One day, when I was a freshman in high school,

I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.

His name was Kyle.

It looked like he was
carrying all of his books.

I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?

He must really be a nerd."

I had quite a weekend planned (partie s and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him.

They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.

His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.

He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes

My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.

As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks.
"

They really should get lives.

" He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!"

There was a big smile on his face.

It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.

As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.

He said he had gone to private school before now.

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.

We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books.

He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

I asked him if he wanted to play a little football
with my friends

He said yes.

We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and myfriends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.

I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!

" He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends..

When we were seniors we began to think about college.

Kyle decided on Georgetownand I was going to Duke.

I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never
be a problem.

H e was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class.

I teased him all the time about being a nerd.

He had to prepare a speech for graduation.

I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak

Graduation day, I saw Kyle.

He looked great.

He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.

He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.

He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him.

Boy, sometimes I was jealous!
Today was one of those days.

I could see that he was nervous about his speech.

So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"

He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled.

" Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began

"Graduation is a time to thank those who helpe d you make it through those tough years.

Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...

I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.

I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the
story of the first day we met.

He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.

He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.

"Thankfully, I was saved.

My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."
I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.

I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.

Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.

With one small gesture you can change a person's life.

For better or for worse.

God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way.

Look for God in others.

Debo,
Thanks for posting this story. It gave me goosebumps. You really never know what your impact will be on people. If we all remembered this each and every day, this world would be a much better place.
Thanks again,
Vicky

Thanks, Deb!

Gerda

Debo

Very moving story - there have been kids that have taken their lives because of being bullied or abused, can't begin to imagine the pain and anguish they suffered to make them take their own lives.

Milica

I've read that story before, but this time it touched me more than usual. You see, a couple weeks ago I was cleaning my son's bedroom, getting ready to have some new windows installed. OK - I'll admit to doing a bit of snooping. I opened a door on his desk to put something in it, and there were some tightly folded notes. These weren't recent - they dated back to 2000 and 2001 - and were from a couple girls he was friends with - not "girlfriends", but friends were are girls - if that makes sense.

I know I shouldn't have read his personal notes, but I did and I'm rather glad I did. One in particular came as a huge jolt! Apparently he'd talked or written to this girl about his depression, and must have said something about suicide. She wrote back to him encouraging him to "not let those jerks get to him", and "please don't do away with yourself", etc.

I never even knew my son was depressed! But then, this would have been about the time he was struggling hard in school, and knew he wasn't going to graduate. He didn't graduate because he didn't get credits in history. His history teacher asked me at a parent/teacher conference if he could even learn! He insinuated that my son was too stupid to learn. Well, it got back to my son and he walked up to that teacher's desk, slammed his books down on his desk, and informed him that he was quitting his class because he refused to sit in a class with a teacher who thought he was stupid. So while my boy went through the graduation ceremony in 2001, he got a blank diploma.

I don't know if this was what his depression was about or not, but it was certainly an eye-opener to learn that he was at one time suicidal!!

My son is a very good boy - always has been - but he was bullied and made fun of a lot in school, mostly because he's heavy - not really fat anymore - just large - 6'2" and 280 pounds. He isn't athletic, never has been, hated school, just didn't see the point of studying stuff he'd never use. But he can tear a truck, car or tractor down to the frame, including the engine, rebuild it and it will run, better than when it was new!

Unfortunately, many of our school systems nowdays push kids so hard toward college, and fail to realize that without people like my son who prefer to work with their hands, this world would be in a bigger mess than it already is! Many educators seem to sneer at factory workers, farmers, mechanics, etc.

I'm just grateful for that girl who befriended my son! She just may have kept him from making a terrible mistake!!

Nola

Nola

This must be so hard for you but thank god for your son's friend - a true friend indeed. Hugs to you Nola.

Unfortunately bullying comes in many disguises but I'm a great believer in what goes around comes around and one day they will get their comuppence.

Milica

Nola
I am so glad your son got through that and had a good female friend who helped him deal. I know that must be hard for you to know this but thank God it is behind you.

Milica
I totally agree with you on what goes around will eventually come back and bite them in the end.

Nola, I can only imagine how you must have felt as you learned this about your son. But I think what also saved him was probably you. You sound like the kind of mother we all need - one who loves us as we are even if we don't fit the mold that society sets down for us. I'm sure you encouraged him as he struggled with school, but it sounds as if you also always made him feel loved and special at all times, regardless of his academics.
Having friends like the girl in that letter can make all the difference, but so does having a mom like you.

I definitely second what Suzanne said....There is no doubt in my mind what a wonderful, loving Mom you must be. It is so obvious, by the kind of friend you are to us here at BC!! and thank you for that.

I just try to be the kind of friend I want others to be to me. As far as being a good mom, I vowed when I had kids that I would treat them differently than I was treated. My Mom was very laid back and easy going, and while Dad was, in many ways, a good dad, he was also very domineering, demanding, and did a lot of worrying about keeping up appearances, "what would the neighbors say", etc.

I was never allowed to make a decision for myself. In school Dad choose the subjects I was going to take, he forced me to take many subjects that I totally hated and was not good at. As a result, and I truly hate to admit it, but I cheated my way through a number of subjects, rather than get a failing grade and risk Dad's anger. After school, I was told that I was going to business college and my curriculum was chosen for me.

Once I started working, I began to rebel and did a lot of awful things - things I now greatly regret and am extremely sorry for. Fortunately, about the only person I really hurt was myself. And I realize now why I did those things - I was searching for someone to accept me as I was - but only ended up a major mess and became suicidal myself.

I know Dad loved me in his way, but he wanted me to fit the mold he had in mind for me - never a thought about what I wanted! And when I rebelled, he rejected me.

So, when I married (against Dad's wishes - hubby wasn't good enough for me), I made up my mind that our kids would grow up liking themselves. I would not force them into a mold not of their own choosing. From the time my daughter was old enough to walk, I let her choose what she wanted to wear for the day - I'd hold up 2 or 3 outfits and let her pick the one she wanted. In school, she choose her own subjects, knew from the time she was very young that she wanted to go into the teaching profession. She went to college for her Early Childhood Education degree and is a paraprofessional working with mentally challenged kids.

John needed a bit more help in school as he didn't understand why he had to take some of the required subjects - the non-electives. But I encouraged him to take welding classes, agriculture classes, and learn the things he'd need to work on motors, etc.

And I'm happy to say, for the most part, both of my kids are happy, well-adjusted young adults. Neither has ever been in trouble of any sort, although John came close once when he got involved with a wrong group of kids. Didn't take him long tho' to see what they were and he dropped them like a hot potato!

My older granddaughter just told me tonight about a little girl in kindergarten that most of the kids don't like. She said the kids don't like her hair because it's black, they don't like the way she wears it, etc. I told Caitie I didn't ever want to hear of her being mean to this little girl, and she said, "Oh Grandma, I like her." I asked her Mom about it later, and she explained that this little girl is black - and in our predominately white neighborhood, most of those kindergarten kids aren't used to being around black children. So it all comes down to accepting people for what they are, not their skin or hair color, or their nationality, or their financial status, etc. So now I'm going to encourage Caitie to seek out this little girl and make friends with her. Neither of my kids have ever been prejudiced, and I don't want my grandkids to be either.

Guess I'd better get off here - supper should be just about done and I'm hungry!!!

Hugs to all,
Nola