Oh Meg
Hugs to you and Doug this must be so stressful and troublesome for you both to deal with him. It sounds like to me they would want to get him some kind of help before he harms himslef or someones else accidently. I imgaine it would be hard to acknowledge that a parent is falling away as he is but I hope that you all can find peace soon and with a way to cope with what he is going through because really it is all of you going through it with him one way or the other. My prayer is for him to be safe and cause harm to himself.
Hugsssssssssssss

Meg, My heart goes out to you and Doug. My mom went through this with my grandmother. It's a very hard decision to make and even harder when other family members are in denial. Prayers for you and the entire family.

Deb, Thanks for the prayers for Howard. His surgery went very well. Had him home by 4:00 pm. He's watched tv for a while and ate dinner. He just came in and asked me to get him a pain pill. The local anesthestic has worn off in his hand so he is hurting now. I think he may be asleep for the night. He has a goofy looking foam block around his arm that keeps his hand elevated, even when he is asleep. Looks funny but sure does work well.

I'm hoping to be able to get into the sewing room tomorrow for a little bit. I've got so much I need to be working on and I'm already behind. Oh well, he comes first. Sewing can wait for a little while.

Barb Mcf

Here's the thing, Barb. Both my husband and his sister are in complete agreement with the doctors that there is a problem. My FIL refuses to accept that he can't do anything now that he did at 25, much less that his mind is failing him. He found one doctor who never looked at any of the test results from the neurosurgeons, the psychiatrists, etc., and declared him fit.

My FIL, who has always been extremely manipulative, has used this to turn ther extended family against DH and DSIL. So sad. My biggest fear is that he is going to do himself or some other poor slob a mischief, and then the rest of the family will have to deal with the guilt for not supporting us. I have been keeping a journel of dates, etc, in case we have to go to court and have him declared incompetent. I send the updates to our attorney.

I am so sorry, Meg. My sister and I went thru this with our mom. There are 5 of us kids and the other 3 refused to believe there was anything wrong with her. She was in an accident and my brother took her right to a car dealer and had her sign all the papers for another car. And he knew that she would forget where she was going, or would get lost when she was driving. The other 3 still don't talk to us and it has been 6 yrs.since mom passed away. It would take too many pages to tell you all the crap we had to go thru to get stuff straightened out. My prayers are with your family. Wendy

Good Afternoon,

Early spring weather here ... 50's, alternately sunny and cloudy ... a bit of wintry/rain mix maybe headed our way. The ground is getting soft.

I have been getting out in the yard each day to clean up the debris winter has left us. I cannot quite believe how many leaves we have in our yard. My DH and I raked up and filled over 30 leaf bags last fall for the city compost program. Did not anyone uphill of us rake their yards last year? I beginning to feel like every leaf in our part of the city has found it's way into the corners of our yard against the fences. Okay, I am exagerating, but my back certainly feels that way. We live downwind of a city park. I love trees, though, and never like to see one cut down. Oh well, I need the exercise. I have been much to sedentary this winter.

Meg, my heart goes out to you. Wendy, I know where you are coming from. All you can do is the best you can to do what you know is right and pray for guidance and strength. Meg, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I have gotten very little quilting done the last few days. I am hoping that will change tonight, <3 Pat

Meg, I'll continue keeping your FIL in my prayers, and the rest of the family too. It's such a difficult situation you are dealing with.

Today was just beautiful, warm, about 70, with a light breeze and sunny. A great day to be outside but I was inside. DH and I did go out for coffee this morning, A friend runs a small diner and she was concerned about how he did with his surgery, so we went to see her. Other than that, I've been inside the rest of the day. Did get 4 loads of laundry done and cooked dinner and helped DH with all of the things that he couldn't do one handed.

I did get some quilty stuff done tho. I surfed the online fabric shops and ordered the fabric for the back of my DGD's graduation quilt. I got it from the Fat Quarter Shop. It's Michael Miller, Rubber Ducky Bubble yardage in Turquoise. I think it's really cute for someone that collects rubber ducks. She told me that she wants rubber ducks on her quilt so this should do perfectly.

Now, I'm going to go in the sunroom, put my feet up, and read my new quilt magazine while DH watches the U of Tennessee basketball game.

Have a good evening.
Barb Mcf

YIPPEE! I got to stay home all day! Finished the 1st quilt top, started piecing blocks for #2 Will load pics in a bit.

Did about an hour's worth of spring cleaning inside & a while outside.

Was only about 50 today, and Mr. Weather is threatening rain for next couple days - I know we need it, BUT I'm just loving the sunshine & itching to plant that garden! (patience is NOT a strongsuit of mine)

Having hamburgers for dinner tonite, much to ds2 delight - sometimes it's easy to please them!

Everyone have a great day/evening

OK, I have a pic loaded of the 1st quilt top...Here's the mini pic, click to get to the album & see some other stuff...hope it works!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: carolep,

Carole what a lovely top, wtg you this is a fantastic project you are undertaking Will you quilt them yourself too? or send them out to be quilted?These quilts will be so special, all the memories and love that you have put into each stitch.
JAcqui

Meg, I totally understand what you're going through with your FIL. We had the same thing in the late 80's/early 90's with my Dad. He got mean, beat up Mom, tore the house apart looking for guns and knives (all locked up), had to take his car keys away. Everything that went wrong, from something he misplaced to a flat tire to a cow that died, was blamed on my husband. He even went so far as to go to the Sheriff and try to have Rod arrested. Then he came over and bragged about it to me!!! I got no support from my Mom or brother, even tho' they knew what was really going on. They'd just say, "Oh, don't let it bother you!" RIGHT!!! I nearly turned into an alcoholic (a family curse) - because no one - from ministers to friends to my husband - had any idea how to help the situation, and on top of that, I was going through "the change" so was a hormonal mess to start with.

And now we have a similiar situation with my brother! He doesn't have dementia yet - but is borderline. As long as I dole out his pills to him he stays semi-alert, but occasionally he even messed up the ones in the weekly pill chest. And now that Home Health no longer comes to see him, he's decided he doesn't need my hubby to help him with his bathing anymore. Claims he's taking a bath - but we've noticed he's wearing the same clothes for several days. We'll check his laundry and see if there's any towels or dirty undies in there.

Rod has just about lost all patience with him. We were trying to help him so the hospital wouldn't call in Adult Protective Services on a charge of self-neglect. But now we're to the point of saying, "Let them!" If they find him filthy again like last year, they'll take him to a nursing home and there won't be a thing he can do about it. He'll be there 30 days, and will have that time to get a plan in action to keep clean, kept his meds straight, etc., and if he can prove that he's got help, then he can go home. Otherwise, he'll be in a home. And at this point in time, we're just about ready to let this happen. It might just scare him bad enough that he'll let us take charge of his affairs.

It's hard, because no one wants to lose their independence - but there comes a time when a person's safety and other people's safety has to come first.

My prayers are with you and your family, Meg.

Hugs,
Nola