My thanks to Texas for the gentle reminder to come by and see what is happening,

I am very laid back about swaps and such, but I do want to know about them. Elaine is right, I've never turned one down, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to know about it, so please just email me (noblin@alaweb.com. If you've got a swap going on and we haven't talked, let me know what it is and how it will work. Also if you are contemplating one, let me know before you post it.

Just to add to the rules that Elaine posted, here's another thing to consider:

A swap leader needs to be organized, responsible, honest, and available to answer questions in a timely manner. That fits 99.9% of the swap leaders that I've ever known, but every once in a while we have a problem. My goal is to avoid problems!

Think of me as the manager...I want you to play and have fun, but I want to know what is going on, especially when it involves swaps.

Kim, May I respectfully ask you one question? Are you okay with all the micro-managing going on here with the swaps. I thought, as you stated, that each hostess set up the guidelins for her swap. And members could choose to join or not to join as they felt comfortable with those guidelines.

I believe in my heart of hearts that all the discussion was to try and clarify the guidelines, and I further believe that the folks involved are sincerely trying to make the forum even better than it already is. That being said, I think a new can of worms has been opened up and people are upset.

I personally have recieved a half dozen or so e-mails from long-time members who are concerned by the overt attempt to exclude other members. Some of them are considering leaving the forum. I think that would be the real tragedy.

I am really interested in hearing from you and your viewpoint on this issue specifically. Are you okay with the few dictating the rules to the many? No commitee was appointed, it wasn't an open discussion, and new rules seem to be being tacked on at a whim.

Kim, I apologize for misinterpreting what you said to me in the past when I asked if we needed to ask your permission before doing a swap. I apparently either didn't read your response to me correctly or my memory is really failing. In any case, I do apologize if I've confused the issue. We all appreciate the chance to play here.

I think we all just want to be sure that the swaps remain fair for all and with the intended results for all. I don't think any of the rules Connie posted are "new", just a reitteration of what has been expected all along and not asking very much of any of us. We either trust each other to treat one another with respect or we don't, in which case we shouldn't consider swapping.

I hope I am not sticking my nose in where its not wanted but, in my opinion unless its Kim making rules...she has absoloute power! I think any rules and that should be discussed in open forum not in private... we should all have a say.
Coz we all love this place!!
That been said I do agree with most of the posted rules.
Deb.

Deb, as a participating member, you have the right to state your opinion. You are never aggressive nor rude & that alone gives you that right.

I agree with you 100% that all rules & regulations should be done in open forum & when complete & agreeable, be presented to KIM for approval.

This is the first I have heard that members have been excluded from any swap?

Course, I have not been here much lately either.
TX

Hi Meg,

I'm not sure what you mean about micro managing...I'm not aware of it in any case. I think what I'm missing must have been discussed in PM's of which I was not a part. I do agree with the "rules" that were formulated and I like the fact that they are so clear and easy to understand.

Yes, each swap hostess sets up the guidelines for her swap...dates, colors, theme, etc. but the "rules" hold participants accountable to their commitment and will hopefully make them think twice before not fulfilling their end of the bargain. There is great expectation and suspense built into the swapping process and if someone doesn't follow common courtesy, that quickly turns into great disappointment. If you would email me or PM me with the specific rules that are bothering you, I'd really appreciate it. Maybe I'm not seeing something that you are and need to be enlightened.

Mary, there is no problem at all and no need to apologize! I completely agree that the rules posted by Connie were already an expected part of our swaps, they had just not been written down and clarified. I'm thankful that time was taken to do this, and it will certainly help reduce any misunderstandings. Glad you like to play here!

Deb, you are so sweet! As always, a ray of sunshine.

From Kim's post it looks like Kim is ok with Connie's rules so that should settle it. It does for me. Thanks Kim

Jacquie

While I feel the rules/regulations should have been discussed in open forum, I also believe a very good job was done on them. Kudos to those of you who worked hard on this - you've done a great job.

Kim - as always, you are a calming presence here. I don't think it can be said enough how very much we all appreciate this wonderful forum you provide for us and all that you do to make it a great place to come to each day.

No, Kim, I will do it here, in public, where everyone can see.

I was under the impression that each hostess, after getting permission from you, more or less set up whatever guidelines she felt comfortable with. Members could choose to participate or pass as they felt comfortable with the guidelines.

There are several new requirements that I think make perfect sense and am in total agreement with, such as having a co-host for each swap. I was also pleased to see the issue of over-doing the swap addressed. Some folks are on fixed incomes and can't go beyond meeting the requirements of the swap, but don't want, as MaryKS stated in her PM, to come across as looking cheap or lazy. I am in complete agreement with staying within the parameters of the swap.

There are some, such as the requirement to post pictures, that I think are annoying, but that I can live with. Not everyone has a digital camera or the skill or the patience to re-size photos. As long as both swappers know in advance who is going to take pictures- that's a moot issue as far as I'm concerned.

My real issue is the phone number. I was welcomed into some of these swaps two days ago, before the rules were posted. Now I am being asked to leave, even though I clearly and publicly stated my reasons for not wanting to divulge my phone number. I bowed out as graciously as I could, with no ill will towards anyone.

My decision to leave was not intended to be a reflection on the trustworthiness of the hostesses. It was merely an attempt to regain some control over a very difficult and frightening experience in my own life, involving my phone number and the internet. I am sorry if the hostesses were offended.

Clearly, that was not enough for some folks. By micro-managing, I mean the overt attempts to add further restrictions on a whim. The suggestion that members be excluded from new swaps if they have not "fulfilled" previous obligations, I feel was aimed directly at me and I think it is a cheap shot.

I am very distressed that none of this was discussed in an open forum or at least that the membership wasn't given the opportunity to select a committee to discuss it.

I have said my peace and I will abide by your decision. BTW, even though the PM's regarding this were removed, I have them all in my e-mail. I would be happy to forward them to you, if you would like to see them.

Again, may I remind you that I am not the only one upset by this. I continue to recieve e-mails from other members who are equally disturbed and are considering leaving because they don't want to give their phone numbers out, either.

Kim,

May I add one more thing. It seems to me that lots of folks are suggesting that these are Connie's rules. I think Connie is being put in the middle here, and I think that is unfair to her. I have great respect and admiration for her and want to publicly say that I do not hold her responsible for any of this.

A thought occurs to me. Since the issue of the phone number seems to be the big sticking point, may I offer a compromise. What if people gave you their phone number, for just "in case."
Would that satisfy everyone?

And could we please have an open discussion about it?